The Principia Discordia Version 23.5
The Purple Sage cursed and waxed sorely pissed and cried out in a loud voice: A pox upon the
accursed Illuminati of Bavaria; may their seed take no root.
May their hands tremble, their eyes dim and their spines curl up, yea, verily, like unto the backs of
snails; and may the vaginal orifices of their women to be clogged with Brillo pads.
For they have sinned against God and Nature; they have made of life a prison; and they have stolen
the green from the grass and the blue from the sky.
And so saying and grimacing and groaning, the Purple Sage left the world of men and women and
retired to the desert in despair and heavy grumpiness.
But the High Chapperal laughed, and said to the Erisian faithful: Our brother torments himself with
no cause, for even the malign Illuminati are unconscious pawns of the Divine Plan of Our Lady.